Breaching Rwandan values, one of factors triggering disputes in families

Hakizimana Elias.

So many years have elapsed as disputes in families are still observed due to breaching Rwandan values by the couples who lack mutual respect and humility.

Some of residents in Nyagatare district said that violating such values trigger illegal marriages which eventually embark on conflicts in families.

Ruth Mukamurangira, a woman from Matimba sector said: “If you accidently meet a girl and fall in love and immediately make illegal family, most of the time it takes a short time to divorce. In this case it is easy to chase away the wife because you are not legally married, but when it is legal, even if you can divorce each couple and children benefit from their rights.”

The mother said that in ancient time there were not abundant cases of disputes and divorces since they used to embrace patience and noble values.

“It was a culture we were used to where a man had to pay dowry and get legally married and strengthen mutual respect,” she said.

Mediation in marriage

Francois Xavier Musoni, an old man in the same sector said the mediator was a good culture for girls and boys seeking to marry each other.

“The girl would get married after a mediator connected her to boy who had been seeking her and get enlightened on each one’s values that build peaceful family. Today they meet without knowing each other, get illegally married and in the end the start quarrelling and divorce,” he said.

Celestin Ndayambaje, from Rukomo sector said that most of family conflicts are based on adultery crimes by either of the couples.

He added that drunkenness in family also affects children’s education.

Fidele Sibomana, from Karangazi sector said : “ You see a wife spending night drinking alcohol beer and the man too and when they meet  they start quarrelling.”

The mayor of Nyagatare district David Mushabe said that lack of mutual respect between couples is triggering escalating conflicts in most of families.

“A girl and boy must get married after knowing each other at a good level. The mediation culture should still be maintained since it helps the two to know each other very well before getting married,” he said.

The research by Association Modeste and Innocent (AMI) in March 2018 revealed that conflicts in families cause poverty which also affects national development leading to a loss of $3 million every year.

Figures by National Police released in 2017 showed that there occurred 546 cases of couples that disputed and fought in families.

They show that there were 69 cases murdering between the couples in the first nine months.

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Elias Hakizimana

Elias Hakizimana, CEO&Founder of The Inspirer Ltd,(www.rwandainspirer.com) is a professional Rwandan Journalist with Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism and Communication, received from University of Rwanda’s College of Arts and Social Sciences (CASS) in 2014. He served various media houses in Rwanda including Rwanda Broadcasting Agency (RBA) in 2013 and became passionate with English Online and Print Media Publications where he exercised his talent as a Freelance News Reporter for The New Times, The Independent, The Rwanda Focus, Panorama and more before he became a Self-Entrepreneur as the CEO and Founder of The Inspirer Limited in early 2017.

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